Cinderelly, cinderelly

So I was telling my boyfriend Cody about this class and the blogs I have to write every week, and when he asked me if I had written anything about him and I had to reply no, I felt kind of bad! So I'll dedicate this one out to him. Oh and incase anyone looked at my last weeks blog, here is the video of the kids at DisneyWorld this year..there timing was off, but I think they were really nervous! (I think CJ's back tuck is my favorite part of the whole routine)



 So Cody and I have been doing long distance for about a year now, and it hasn't been easy, but it makes us realize that when we do get to spend time together, it is really special and we try not to waste the time we have together. We are also brutally honest with each other, but that's one of the things I love most about our relationship because we can tell each other anything. Unfortunately for me, the topic of cleanliness comes up every once in a while when he comes into town because Cody is a pretty organized guy, and he picks up after himself really well (his house is SPOTLESS). I kinda admire him for that. So first off to get my point across, I am not uncleanly, I am just really busy and don't keep up with small things such as a few clothes on the floor or a couple of dishes in the sink. Okay..so maybe sometimes it gets a little worse than that with the dog toys on the ground, but hey, like I said I'm busy, and plus the dogs like to play with them while I'm away so why pick them up if they like them out? When I try to explain why I get a little behind on my chores because of my time constraints, Cody tells me its probably more because I'm lazy and unorganized. I think we are suffering from the actor-observer effect here (Jones & Nisbett, 1971). 

According to Jones and Nisbett, actors, or the ones acting out a behavior, attribute the causation of their behaviors to their situation, whereas the observers, or those who are observing the actors behavior, attribute the actor's behavior to the actors personality traits. In other words, the person carrying out the behavior will think the underlying cause of their behavior is due to their surrounding environment while the person watching the behavior will think the underlying cause of that persons behavior is due to their personality (Jones & Nisbett, 1971). An example of this we discussed in Dr. G's class is a child versus a parents view on curfews: If a parent gives a child a curfew, the parent will say they created the curfew to protect their child, because they love them, and because they don't trust others late at night, whereas the child will say their parent created the curfew because their parent is mean, boring, and selfish. According to Dr. Giuliano, there are two reasons the  actor-observer effect occurs: 1) Because we have more information about ourselves than others and we know how we will act in certain situation and 2) we have different perspectives than those around us.

Lucky for me, even with the actor-observer effect in play, the house being a little messy when he comes into town really doesn't bother him, since the important thing is that we get to spend time together. Now if we ever live together and its his floor covered in dog toys, I don't know if it will be the same story!

This is Cody and I at a wedding last summer :)

Until next blog,

Your Social Psychista

 

Jones, E. E., & Nisbett, R. E. (1971). The actor and the observer: Divergent perceptions of the causes of behavior. New York: General Learning Press.

T. Giuliano, Social psychology lecture, February 26, 2013.

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